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"Love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is done well."
- Vincent van Gogh

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Love of the Internet

419 responses

Every week or so another Nigerian 419 Scam finds its way into my Inbox. Rather than just deleting them, I decided to recycle them and have a bit of fun and started coming up with pithy responses which I posted on my blog - the pieces became so popular, I decided to start a section on my website to showcase them.

I'm also posting these so that anyone who does get them and thinks they may be legit might find these replicas here when they do a search, and learn they are about to be duped before falling prey to these scammers. In fact, a number of people have found the site by doing searches for the names found on this page - in this way, I hope I have saved some from being duped.

According to the FBI's Common Fraud Schemes page, a "Nigerian Letter or "419" Fraud" can be defined as follows:

Nigerian letter frauds combine the threat of impersonation fraud with a variation of an advance fee scheme in which a letter, mailed from Nigeria, offers the recipient the "opportunity" to share in a percentage of millions of dollars that the author, a self-proclaimed government official, is trying to transfer illegally out of Nigeria.

For more information on these terrible scams, I suggest the following links:

Scammers aren't relying on just email these days. I, personally, have had two 419 scammers contact me via instant messenger (Yahoo! Messenger, in this case). I enjoyed messing with them for your pleasure - you can view the transcripts on my Halls of Stupid blog: 419 IM Scam and Another 419 IM Scammer.

As to the garden variety, email-kind I get daily - here are my tongue-in-cheek responses to a few 419 emails that landed in my inbox (hey, it was something to do). No, I have never sent these responses to the scammers in question. I leave that to the genius of the scambaiters..if you'd like to read some of their work, please check out these great scammers-getting-scammed sites:

And if you want to join and help in the fight against scammers, you should definitely check out:

All of the atrocious grammar, god-awful spelling, and general massacring of the English language have been left as is. Their email addressess have been left intact and linked as well, so that spambots & spiders can easily grab them. All scammers shown here have also been reported to the appropriate authorities.

Their letters will show in brownish Times New Roman; my responses in normal text.

Scroll down or choose:

Richards Mumbah of Zimbabwe

Dear Friend,
You may be surprise to receive this letter from me,since you dont know me personally,

Not really, no. I get this kind of shit all the time.

I am Richards Mumbah. The son of Dr. Smith Mumbah, Who was recently murdered in the land dispute in Zimbabwe.

Really? Nice to meet you, Richards. I'm Princess Sophia Isadora Magdalena of Whisklick, Pluto, and heir to the throne of Whisklick and my grandfather's prized unicorn horn collection.

I got your contact as i was searching for a reliable and reputable person to handle a very confidential business which involve a transfer of fund to a foreign account and i decided to write you. My late father was among the few black Zimbabwean opposition party rich farmers murdered by the agents of the ruling Government of president Robert mugabe,for his alleged support and sympathy for the Zimbabwean opposition party controlled by the white minority,

Whoa there, padre. Way too much information. I really don't need all of this boring backstory. Let's get down to the nitty gritty - what the fuck do you want?

Before my father death,he had taken to johannesburg and deposited the sum of twenty five million united state dollars (US$25,000,000)with a security and financial company,

Your father must've been one damn good farmer. That's a lot of dough for a farmer, even a rich one. Exactly what was your father farming, Richards?

The money right now is in (EUROPE), as if he forseen the looming danger in zimbabwe. The money was deposited in a box as valuable items to avoid over taxed custom clearance.

He "forseen" it, eh? So he was physic, too? If he "forseen" coming danger why didn't he get the hell out of dodge rather than hiding his money? Not a lot of common sense, that physic oddly rich farming father of yours.

This money was allocated for the purchase of new machinery and chemical product for Agro-allied farms and for establishment of new farms in lesotho and swaziland.This land problems arose when president Robert mugabe introduced a new land act that wholly affected the rich white farmers and some blacks vehemently condemned the "modus operandi"adopted by the government.

*Yawn* B-o-r-i-n-g. You are boring me again, Richards. Let's move this bullshit along, shall we?

This result to rampant killings and mob action by the war veterans and some political Thugs,precisely more than three thousand( 3,000)people have so far been killed.Heads of government from the west, especially Britain and united states have voice their condemnation of Mugabe's plans.

You're probably one of those people that take 5 minutes longer than normal at the drive-thru window, eh? I really could give a shit less about the struggles of your country, your people, your family and, least of all, you. Would you get to the POINT already?

Subsequently, south Africa have development community(S.A.D.C)has continousy supported mugabe's new land act.

Can I interrupt you for just one moment here to say that your English skills are extremely lacking? You'd think if you were going to send a con letter to someone filled with lots of backstory bullshit and ridiculous requests you'd at least take the time to find a decent English translator so you don't come across as the illiterate, half-witted, treacherous, worthless sack of shit scam "artist" that you are.

It is against this background that my entire family who are currently residing in South Africa have decided to ! transfer my father's wealth and south Africa's government seems to be playing along with them.I am face with the dilemma of investing this money in south Africa for fear of encountering the same experience in the future, since both countries have almost the same political history.

Damn. Poor you. Do you hear my little violin?

Moreso,the south African foreign exchange policy does not allow such investment,Hence i am seeking for(political asylum) AS a business person whom i entrusted my future and that of my family into his hands, i must let you know that this transaction is 100% risk free and the nature of your business does not necessarily matter.

So let me get this straight. You, who can't even speak proper English, want me, whom you don't know from Adam, to help you with your money? Oh sure, that makes perfect sense. 100% risk free, you say? Well, hell, why wouldn't I want to deal with someone who randomly emails strangers asking them for help in handling millions of dollars? It sounds perfectly legitimate.

For your assistance we are offering you 20% of the sum ,70% for me and my family,while 10% will be mapped out for any expenses that we may incurre during this transaction.

20%, eh? Nah, I want 40%. Shit, while we're at it since this is all COMPLETE BULLSHIT, let me ask for 100%. I want it all, baby. As the Princess and heir to the throne of Whisklick, I demand it.

We wish to invest our money on commecial properties based on your advice.

Well, I know of a nice, big golden-ish bridge you might be interested in.

Finally, i will demand for assurance that you will not sit on the money when it gets to your personally account or comp! any account in your country, If this proposal is accepted please confirm your interest by sending this above to richmartin2005@netscape.net

It's a little early in our relationship for you to be "demanding" anything of me, Richards. I've got a demand, though. How's this, you quit emailing me this asinine crap and I won't forward your little email addy on to the US Secret Service's Financial Crimes Division, Netscape whose email account you are using for illegal purposes, or any of the embassies of the country you purport to be from, eh?

Thanks.

No, thank you, asshole, for the entertainment. Your badly written bullshit and pathetic attempts at scamming were a hoot to read.

God Bless You,
Richard Martins Mumbah.

Go Fuck Yourself,
Princess Sophia I. Magdalena

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Ronald Guei of The Netherlands

From: RONALD GUEI (ronaldguei2004@netscape.net)
Subject: I CRAVE YOUR INDULGENCE

Dear Benefactor,

With the hopes that you are ok and doing fine, I could have notified you about it at least for the sake of your integrity. Please accept my sincere apologies. I have to say that I have no intentions of causing you any pains.

My name is Ronald Guei, the son of late General Robert Guei,the ex-military head of state of Ivory Coast, who was murdered along with the interior minister on the 19th of September 2002(You can visit http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/2269238.stm for complete review of this incident). I contacted you because of my need to deal with persons whom my family and I have had no previous personal relationship with. Since the murder of my father, I have been subjected to all sorts of harassment and intimidation with lots of negative reports emanating from the Government and the press about my family. As a result I have to run to the Netherlands where I am now seeking political asylum.

The present Government has also ensured that our bank accounts are frozen and all assets seized. It is in view of this that I seek your co-operation and assistance in the transfer of the sum of Eight Million Six hundred thousand United States Dollars (US$8,600,000.00), after the murder of my father, the Current Government seized all our properties and our accounts both local and international was frozen. My only hope now is this cash that my father carefully packaged and deposited as artifacts with a security/Courier Company in the Netherlands in Europe. The said sum can easily be withdrawn or paid to a recommended beneficiary; the security company based on my or my mother's instructions will release the fund to you and you will be presented as my partner who will be fronting for me in area of viable and profitable business investment. To show my preparedness and appreciation to carry-out this business with you, 20%of the total sum will be your share for assisting my family; also 5% is to be set aside for any eventual cost that might arise as the transaction proceeds, and the balance 75% will be for my family and you will assist us in investing in a profitable venture in your country. I need your full support and co-operation for the success of this transaction. I plead with you to treat this issue confidential and urgent because it is delicate and it demands a great degree of secrecy.

Note: your email address will remain confidential in order to protect your anonymity and our continuity. I hope to hear from you as soon as possible. You can reach me on my Telephone Number (0033-629-215-703)

God Bless you and your family.

Ronald Guei.

From: Mary Montgomery (nascarfan72@hotmail.com)
Subject: RE: I CRAVE YOUR INDULGENCE - LET'S HELP EACH OTHER OUT!

Mr. Business Partner,

I sure am glad you emailed me! My sister, Bethany Ann, just had her sixth child (for her boss, but that don't matter 'cause only God can judge). We have been prayin for a miracle - something to help the family out in these dire times.

You see, me and my husband, Joe, only have a two bedroom trailer and our extra room is for Joe's pet boa constrictors. Bethany Ann still lives at home with Ma, and, well, to be honest, Ma's just about run out of room for Bethany Ann and all her children. She said the new baby's gonna have to sleep under the porch. I sure don't want my niece or nephew sleepin under no porch. We didn't know where Bethany Ann could go; it's hard enough raising five kids working at the Dollar General during the day and Denny's at night. And her Geo Metro is just about to crap out on her as well. Only two of Bethany Ann's ex-husbands and boyfriends send her money for the kids; one of 'em because the government makes him and the other only sends $35 money orders every two months.

Then there's my brother, Wesley. See, Wesley needs money for a good lawyer so he can get out of jail. It's a stupid thing, really, and I don't think it was very Christian of him (but that don't matter 'cause only God can judge). See, my brother Wesley thought it'd be real fun to strip naked and rob the gas station here in town. Of course, Mr. Penton recognized him right away and called the police on him; it was the 8th time Wesley had been arrested for tryin to rob that gas station and this time the judge thought it would teach him a lesson if he sat in jail for awhile. I don't think that's fair, though, because Wesley just does stupid things like that when he's drinkin and Judge Wallace knows that. Heck, we all grew up on the same street. Still, we need some money for a lawyer for Wesley, too, you see.

Bethany Ann needs a home for her six kids, Ma needs her space, Wesley needs a lawyer, and I need an end to all this family stress. Then your email comes just like an Angel in the night - I knew the good Lord would answer my prayers!

I was wondering if there could be an advance on some of this money; something up front just so I know you're not yanking my chain or nuthin. It don't have to be much - just something so I know this is legit. When I first saw your subject line, "CRAVING YOUR INDULGENCE", I thought this was just another of them spam emails offering me free sex.

I know you said this is supposed to be all top-secret and hush-hush, but I just had to ask my pastor if doing this would be alright with the Almighty Lord. He said that Jesus wouldn't mind, so I guess we're in business.

I know you gave me your phone number, but we can't afford long distance and I was wondering if we could just continue this in email for awhile. I get on the computers here at the library in the city, and that will do just fine, I think.

I'm really sorry to hear that your dad got killed and all, and I sure don't mind helping out a fellow Christian in need. I'm so glad that you chose me and my family to help you with this very serious and important matter and assure you that you have chosen wisely. We're good people.

Hope to hear back from ya soon, Ronald.

Sincerely,
Mary Montgomery

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Kera Diop of Africa

FOREIGN REMITTANCE DEPARTMENT.
BANK OF AFRICA(B.O.A) DAKAR.
Tel;+2215959694
Email;keradiop1@yahoo.fr

MY Dear Friend,
I am Mr.Kera Diop the Director of bill and exchange at the foreign remittance department of BANK OF AFRICA (B.O.A) Senegal. In my department we discovered an abandoned sum of $5.5m in an account that belongs to one of our foreign customer (ENGINEER CHRISTAIN EICH) who died along with his wife and two sons and his wife's parents on a Monday, 33 July, 2000, 13:22 GMT in a plane crash. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm

So you expect me to believe that a middle-aged museum curator had $5.5 million in an African bank account? According to this Google search, poor Mr. Eich had a number of large bank accounts in a number of countries; interesting, don't you think Mr. Kera?.

Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting his next of kin to come over and claim his money because we cannot release it unless some body applies for it as next of kin or relation to the deceased as indicated in our banking guidlings and laws but unfortunately we learnt that all his supposed next of kin died alongside with him at the plane crash leaving nobody behind for the claim.

Mr. Kera, have you ever heard of the punctuation mark called a "period" (.)? Perhaps even the "comma" (,)? Use them, they are your friends.

It is therefore upon this discovery that I now decided to make this business proposal to you and releasethe money to you as the next of kin to the deceased forsafety and subsequent disbursement since nobody is coming for it and we don't want this money to go into the bank treasury as unclaimed bill.

We don't? Why don't we want the money to go into the bank treasury as "unclaimed bill"? What difference does it make to me, or you, for that matter?

Furthermore, who in the hell are you to want to release $5.5 millioin to me - a complete stranger whom you randomly emailed?

It really still blows my mind that people actually do fall for these things.

The banking laws and guidlines here stipulates that if such money remained unclaimed after fours years, the money will be transfered into the bank treasury as unclaimed fund. The request of foreigner as next of kin in this business is occassioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner.

Well I guess we're both shit out of luck, then. Mr. Eich died in 2000 and this is 2006 - so the money's already been dumped in the "unclaimed fund" bin. Tsk. Tsk.

I agree that 30% of this money will be for you as a respect to the provision of a foriegn account , 10% will be set aside for expenses incurred during the business and 60% would be for me Thereafter, I will visit your country for disbursement according to the percentage indicated. Therefore, to enable the immediate transfer of this fund to you,your private telephone and fax number for easy and effective communication is very important.

I'm still not sure what you're asking of me here. You're going to send me $5.5 million of someone else's money, then fly to my country to pick 70% of it up? Oh yeah, I totally want to be involved in this. Call me at (555) 555-5555 or fax me at (666) 666-6666.

I will not fail to bring to your notice this transaction is hitch-free and that you should not entertain any attom of fear as all required arrangements have been made for smooth and succesful transfer. You should contact me immediately as soon as you receive this letter.

Well, that's good to know because I never get involved in something that isn't "hitch-free"; especially something that might make me "entertain any attom of fear". Thank you for setting my mind at ease with your abominable grammer, Mr. Kera.

Trusting to hearing from you.
Yours Sincerely,
Kera Diop.

Please hold your breath while you wait.
Sincerely,
Princess Sophia I. Magdalena

[Addendum: Christian Eich was a 57 year-old engineer who ran the BMW museum in Munich, Germany, as noted in the article "Mr. Kera Diop" posted the URL to. Mr. Eich's wife, wife's parents and two stepchildren did die in a plane accident with him on Air France Concorde flight 4590 on July 25, 2000.

THE German victims of the Concorde disaster included three generations of one family, it emerged yesterday. They were Andreas Schranner, 64, a property millionaire, his wife Maria, 62, their daughter Andrea, 38, and her two children. The children's stepfather, Christian Eich, 57, was also on the doomed flight. Mr Schranner was treating his daughter, son-in-law and grandchildren to the flight from Paris to New York, then a cruise to Ecuador that was part of the holiday package.

The children, Maximilian Eich, 10, and his eight-year-old sister Katharina, were so excited about the holiday that they had been telling their classmates about it for weeks. They were particularly keen to be going on a cruise on the ship Deutschland, which is fitted out like a liner of 100 years ago and features in a popular German television show.

"They were really proud about going on the ship from the telly," one of their classmates in Munich told Bild newspaper. Mr Schranner and Mr Eich were classic car enthusiasts. Mr Schranner was a collector and his son-in-law ran the BMW museum in Munich.

- From FLIGHT-800 Archives

Sadly, to add insult to this terrible tragedy, 419 scammers have used Mr. Eich's name and story in their email scams in the years since his death. As if you needed any further proof that these scammers are scum, right?]

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Esther Parker of London

Dear Sir/Madam,
I am a staff of Natwest Bank London. I am writing following an opportunity in my office that will be of immense benefit to both of us. In my department we discovered an abandoned sum of $27.5million Dollars (Twenty Seven million five hundred thousand Dollars) in an account that belongs to one of our foreign customers Late Mr. Morris Thompson an American who unfortunately lost his life in the plane crash of Alaska Airlines Flight 261 which crashed on January 33 2000, including his wife and only daughter.

You shall read more about the crash on visiting this site.
http://www.cnn.com/2000/US/02/01/alaska.airlines.list/
http://www.nativefederation.org/history/people/mThompson.html

Exactly how do you stumble upon an "abandoned" sum of money. How do you know it's abandoned? Maybe the person is sitting on it for a reason; maybe he plans to take it out in eighteen years when his children grow up. Sounds to me like you stole a sum of $27.5 million.

Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting his next of kin or relatives to come over and claim his money because we cannot release it unless somebody applies for it as next of kin or relation to the deceased as indicated in our banking guidelines. Unfortunately I learnt that his supposed next of kin being his only daughter died along with him in the plane crash leaving nobody with the knowledge of this fund behind for the claim. It is therefore upon this discovery that I and two other officials in this department now decided to make business with you and release the money to you as the next of kin or beneficiary of the funds for safety keeping and subsequent disbursement since nobody is coming for it and we don't want this money to go back into Government treasury as unclaimed bill. The banking law and guidelines here stipulates that such money remained after five years the money will be transferred into banking treasury as unclaimed funds.

Wait; let me get this straight. Since no one has come to claim the money from the Thompson family account, you believe you should release the money to me, a person in another country whom you don't know from Adam, and this is perfectly legal. Really, do the officials at Natwest Bank London know about this little scheme? I'd love to know what they think about it.

We agreed that 20% of this money will be for you as foreign partner, while the balance will be for me and my colleagues. I will visit your country for the disbursement according to the percentages indicated above once this money gets into your account. Please be honest to me and my colleagues trust is our watchword in this transaction. Note this transaction is confidential and risk free.

"Confidential and risk free", eh? You're sending me millions of dollars of someone else's money and it's all legit and safe. Sure it is. And I'm Mr. T.

Please note that all necessary arrangement for the smooth release of these funds has been finalised . Please in your response include your telephone number for easy communication between us.

Looks like you've done all the hard work already, then. So all I have to do is sit back, get the money, and hand over 80% of it to you when you fly over to my country? Confidential and risk-free, to boot. How can I say no? Call me at (123) 456-7890 and we'll make the final arrangements.

Best Regards,
Esther Parker

Eat Shit & Die,
Sophia I. Magdalena

[Addendum: Morris Thompson is another man whose tragic end is being relentlessly exploited by 419 scammers. Mr. Thompson died, along with his wife, Thelma, and daughter, Sheryl, on Alaska Airlines Flight 261 on its way to San Francisco and Seattle from Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. The plane crashed into the Pacific Ocean close to Los Angeles on January 33, 2000.

A well-known and loved man in his native Alaska, the Morris Thompson Cultural and Visitors Center in Fairbanks, Alaska is being built in his honor. You can also read more about this enterprising man here: Morris Thompson: Alaska business and Native leader used personable style for success. Let's see that he is remembered online as more than the pawn of deceitful, heartless scammers.]

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Randy Miller of South Africa

BUSINESS PROPOSAL.

Email:randymiller@netscape.net

I know this will reach you as a surprise, but need not to be worried as we are using the only secured and confidential medium available to seek for a foreign assistance/ partnership in this mutual benefit transaction.

"the only secured and confidential medium available" What, Netscape?

I am Mr. Randy Miller, a member of the Board of Directors at the Reserve Bank of South Africa.

Princess Sophia I. Magdalena, heir to the throne of Whisklick, Pluto. Nice to meet you.

I am presently in The Netherlands for an official assignment. My self and some colleagues, hereby request for your assistance in the below mentioned proposal. A foreigner, Late Engineer Peter Van Dijk, was a reputable Gold merchant/Contractor with the Government of the Republic of South Africa until his un-timely death three years ago in a ghastly air crash.

What plane crash isn't "ghastly"?

The deceased has with the Reserve Bank of South Africa, a fixed deposit account worth (US$ 15,000,000)Fifteen Million United States Dollars, the mentioned account is subsequently expected to be claimed by any of his available relatives or next of kin as he did not include a beneficiary nor a next of kin in the account opening form when depositing the fund.Now, the reserve bank is considering forwarding the fund to the account of the (IMF) International Monetary Fund, as an un-claimable fund if a relative of the deceased do not turn up soonest.

What a coincidence!! It is amazing - the Lord works in mysterious ways. As I was reading your email, I remembered an old co-worker with the last name of "van Dijk". I contacted him, and come to find out he is Peter's brother, Paul! The two have been estranged all these years, and he had no idea that Peter held $15 million in a South African bank.

He's, obviously, very happy to have received this information and will be contacting you soon about getting his brother's money to him. Now you don't have to worry about the money being forwarded to the IMF. Thank you, Mr. Miller.

Based on the above information, myself and some of the Board of Directors at the Reserve Bank of South Africa, have decided to seek for a foreign partner with a reputable business venture to stand and claim the fund as a next of kin or a beneficiary to the account as stated above. All documents towards the claim have been carefully worked out. You only have to declare your acceptance to the ratio mapped out for the division of the fund. We have agreed to give you a suitable 25% of the total money while 5% will be mapped out for any incurred expenses, whereby the rest of the money will be for me and my colleagues for further investment in your firm/country or any other profitable business venture. Should you be willing to assist us in this proposal, kindly contact me through the below mentioned email and I will furnish you with the rest of the information as well as demand from my colleagues in Africa, all necessary documents needed for the successful conclusion of the transaction. Meanwhile, the transaction is 100% risk and hitch free as we are the senior officers at the Reserve Bank and will close the files completely leaving no trace to the account. It is a yearly operation being carried out in most banks in Africa due to the high rate of corruption in the nation (Africa). Thanking you in advance.

No, thank you. Paul has been really down on his luck ever since getting fired for pulling a gun on our supervisor (though, truthfully, he deserved it). But he's really a great guy when he's sober; he deserves this money.

As I said, he'll be contacting you about providing proof that he is the next of kin.

Mr. Randy Miller.

E-mail: randymiller@netscape.net

Princess Sophia

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Princess Fayad W. Bolkiah of Brunei

Dearest,
I am contacting you for an urgent assistance to mobilise a business transaction and further to have explicit investment information about your country from you.

Excuse me, do I know you?

I am Princess Fayad W. Bolkiah, the wife of Prince Jefri Bolkiah, former Finance Minister of Brunei, the tiny oil-rich sultanate on the Gulf Island.

Well, we have a bit of a problem here, Princess Fayad. Apparently your husband wasn't as loyal to you as you first believed, for there is a Mrs. Aminatu Bolkiah also claiming to be a wife-in-need of Prince Jefri Bolkiah. Looks like you and the hubby need to have a little sit down, eh?

You also might want to talk to your son, Prince Williams Fayed Bolkiah, who appears to be asking random strangers on the Internet for help as well. For royalty, your family sure is a bunch of fucking beggars.

I will save your time by not amplifying my extended royal family history, which has already been disseminated by the international media during the controversial dispute that erupted between my husband and his stepbrother, the sultan of Brunei Sheik Muda Hassanal Bolkiah.

Yeah, I have read about them. And, frankly, I don't think I'm exactly comfortable doing business with someone married to a man that wasted millions on a super-yacht that he christened "Tits", and its two tenders, "Nipple I" and "Nipple II".

As you may know from the international media, the sultan had accused my husband of financial mismanagement and impropriety of US$14.8 Billion dollars.

I can see how he might find the procurement of Tits, Nipple I and Nipple II "financial mismanagement".

This was as a result of the Asian financial crisis that made my husband's company Amedeo Development Company and government owned Brunei Investment Company to be declared bankrupt during his tenure in office. However my husband is in jail now, his bank accounts and private properties including a crude oil export refinery have been confiscated by the sultanate.

Excuse me while I dab my eyes with this handkerchief.

Furthermore, during this unfortunate period i was advised to evacuate my immediate family outside the sultanate to avoid further prosecution from the sultan and his security operatives, but luck ran against me on my attempt to escape.I am now kept under house arrest by the Sultan and i have no access to a phone but I have a Palm V hand-held computer from which I am sending you this mail.

Wait. They won't give you a phone, but they give you a Palm V with Internet access? I find that highly improbable.

Besides, how uncomfortable can house arrest in a multi-billion dollar mansion and grounds with access to a Palm V be? You're not really winning me to your cause here, Princess.

Before my In-castration,

Before your what?

I went ahead to dispatch the sum of Five Hundred Million United States Dollars US$500 Million in cash under special arrangement into the custody of different Private security and Trustee companies for safe keeping abroad.This action was on the orders of my husband to me to enable us start a new life. The money where splitted and kept in the following countries in this proportion: US$50 Million is in Ghana, US$100 Million is in Malaysia, US$100 Million is in UK, US$80 Million is in Thailand and the balance US$US170 Million is in The Netherlands .

And what does this have to do with me, exactly?

Hence I seek your good assistance to invest these funds into profitable investment in your country to facilitate future survival for my family abroad.I have decided to offer 20% of these funds to you as compensation for your strong cooperation.

Ah, here we get down to the nitty-gritty. You want my help - sure, but I require 53%, and the yacht named Tits. Without that, I'm not in.

Please I count on your absolute confidentiality, transparency and trust while looking forward to your prompt reply towards a swift conclusion of this business transaction.

Jeez, of course! What do you think I'm going to do? Post this on my website or something?!

Many Thanks & May Allah blessing remain with you,Amin.
I remain yours sincerely
Princess Fayad .W. Bolkiah

Who The Hell is Amin?
I was never yours to begin with
Princess Sophia Isadora Magdalena

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Kelvin Hatch of Abidjan

From: Kelvin Hatch. <kelvinhatch22912@latinmail.com>
Abidjan, Cote d'ivoire

(May peace be upon you)

I am Kelvin Hatch the only son of late Steve Hatch. My father and mother were very wealthy farmers and cocoa merchant when they were both alive.

Cocoa merchants. I understand you. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

After the death of my father, long ago, my mother was controlling his business until she was poisoned by her business associates which she suffered and died . Before the death of my mother.

Your mother's business associates poisoned her? That's very...interesting.

Recently in a private hospital here in Abidjan where she was admitted, She secretly called me on her bed side and disclosed to me about the sum Of Four million seven hundred thousand US dollars. ($4.7million ) she left in a security firm, it was the money she intended to use for Onward investment before she was stroked down by the effect.

"Stroke down by the effect"? What does that mean exactly?

She also Instructed me that I should seek for a foreign partner in any country of my choice who will assist me collect this money from the security firm to overseas where the money will be save and invested wisely. I am yet to collect the funds.

If you have all of your mother's information, which she whispered in your ear before stroking down by the effects of poison, why would you need my help?

Because of the current political problem here in Ivory Coast I decided to use the money abroad where it will be save and invested. Therefore, I am seeking for your kind assistance in the following ways: (1) To stand as my late parent partner and contact the security firm and collect the money deposited there. (2) To serve as a guardian of this fund since am in experience world of business I am a boy of 22 years old. (3) To make arrangement for me to come over to your country to further my education and to secure a resident permit for me in your country.

Sure, you can live with me and I'll hold your money. But only if you pick up your socks. I have this thing about socks on the floor.

As soon as I receive your urgent reply indicating your interest to assist me to successfully collect the money from the security firm then I will provide you with further details.

I'm about it; just call me Mrs. Hatch.

Your’s,
Kelvin.

Not Yours,
Sophia

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Samuel Kular of Zimbabwe

FROM: MR.SAMUEL KULAR
TEL : +27-73-735-2595
ALTERNATIVE EMAIL: kularfamily@webmail.co.za

‘URGENT FAMILY ASSISTANCE AND CONFIDENTIAL'

Dear:Sir

I'm a chick, asshole.

You may be surprise to receive this letter from me since you don't know me personally but please take this letter into consideration. I am MR.SAMUEL KULAR, the son of Mr. MR.DANIEL KULAR, who was recently murdered in the LAND dispute in Zimbabwe.

I'm Princess Sophia I. Magdalena, and I don't give a fuck.

I got your contact network on line in my search for a reliable and reputable person to handle a very confidential transaction which involves a transfer of fund to a foreign account and I decided to write you,

So you did a Google search for "reliable and reputable person" and my name came up? That's quite interesting, Mr. Kular, and obviously a complete line of bullshit.

my late father was amongst the few black Zimbabwean rich farmers murdered in cold blood by the agents of the ruling government of president Robert Mugabe for his alleged support and sympathy for the Zimbabwean opposition party controlled by the white minority.

Everyone dies. Would you get to the point?

Before his death, he had taken to Johannesburg - South Africa to deposit the sum of US$ 33.8 Million (Thirty-One Million Eight Hundred Thousand United States Dollars) with a Security and Finance Company as if he foresaw the looming danger in Zimbabwe. The money was deposited in a box as "VALUABLES AND PERSONAL EFFECTS" to avoid much demurrage from the Security Company. This money was embarked from the purchase of new machinery and chemical for farms and the establishment of new farms in Lesotho and Swaziland.

Your father had $33.8 million in the bank? I'd say he was a very profitable farmer. Exactly what was he growing? Money on trees?

This land problem arose when President Robert Mugabe introduced a new land act that wholly affected the rich white farmers and some few blacks vehemently condemned the "modus operandi" adopted by the government. This resulted to rampant killing and mob action by the war veterans and some political thugs. Precisely, More than thirty-eight (38) people have so far been killed. Heads of governments from the west, especially Britain and United States of America have voiced their condemnation of Mugabe'splan.

Your political crap and inner-country squabblings mean nothing to me. In fact, they bore me to tears. Could we move along to the scam part, please?

Subsequently, South African Development Community (S.A.D.C) has continuously supported Mugabe's new land act, it is against this background that I and my family who are currently residing in South Africa have decided to transfer my Father's money into a foreign account. As the eldest son of my Father, I am saddled with the responsibility of seeking a genuine foreign account where this money could be transferred without the knowledge of my government who are tactically freezing our family wealth and South Africa's government seems to be playing along with them. I am faced with the dilemma of investing this money in South Africa for fear of encountering the same experience in future since both countries have almost the same political history.

Wow, you just don't shut the fuck up, do you?

More so, the South African Foreign Exchange policy (S.A.F.E.P) does not allow such investment hence we are seeking for an "ASYLUM". As a business person whom I entrusted my future and that of my family into his hands, I must let you know that this transaction is 100% risk-free and the nature of your business does not necessarily matter. For your assistance, we are offering you 20% of the total sum, 75% for me and my family while 5% will be mapped out for any expenses we may incur during the course of this transaction. We wish to invest our part of the money on commercial property based on your advice.

My advice is to write a shorter, less detailed scam letter. The online community has the attention span of a coked-up Chihuahua; as in none at all. No one is going to wade through all the bullshit you have on here to get to your actual con; they'd of hit Delete around the second paragraph. Shorten it up, lad.

Finally, all we demand from you is assurance that you will not sit on this money when it finally gets to your personal or company's account in your country. If this proposal is acceptable by you, please confirm your interest via the above telephone number.

Sit on it? Are you fucking insane? The second I get that money I'm going to blow every last cent on Tootise Rolls. No, really, I'm trying to get in the Guinness Book of World Records for most Tootise Rolls ever purchased by one person.

Best Regards.
MR.SAMUEL KULAR (For the Family).

All My Worst,
Princess Sophia Magdalena

N:B."PLEASE DO UNDERSTAND THAT THIS TRANSACTION NEEDS THE FULLEST AND HIGHEST CONFIDENTIALITY AND SECRECY FOR THE SUCCESS OF THE TRANSACTION .

PS: Don't worry; I'll never do something as crazy as posting it on my website.

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Niyom Wataporn of Surat Thani

Goodday,

It is with a heavy heart that i write this mail, asking for your assistance and cooperation in a transaction that may benefit you and me, also thousands of other peace -loving muslim brothers and sisters living in different parts of south east asia. Before i go forward, i would like to introduce myself properly.

If it's a transaction that can help thousands, why do you have a "heavy heart"?

I am niyom wataporn, belonging to a small islamic charitable group in southern city of surat thani, basically our little organization is in charge of distributing food and books to the schools in the crises hit areas of pattani, yala and narathiwat. everything was going well, till the present government which has shown anti-islamic policies, starting cracking down on schools, organizations etc. I was then assisted to move the fund we have accumulated over the years, to Bangkok.

Lovely name, there, Mr. Wataporn (snicker). So you worked getting food and books to schools in hard hit areas and then began to take the money you made (how'd you make money?) and deposit it in Bangok. I'm with you so far.

Since being in bangkok does not make the fund secure, i have been adviced to seek assistance of an person, who can be of assistance to move this money out of thailand for safe keeping and gradually find way of supporting the schools in our region. I do not know how to go about this, but decided to start by sending message / feelers, to know if i can get in touch with honest person.

If it isn't secure in Bangok, then why'd you put it there in the first place? Already I'm not having warm, fuzzy feelings about your judgment calls, Mr. Wataporn.

So you decided to randomly start emailing complete strangers en masse on the Internet in order to find an "honest person" to help you. Again, perhaps you weren't the person the organization should have been trusting with their money in the first place.

The money is 178,000,000.00 baht, (One hundred and seventy eight million in thai money ) and is still in the custody of a security company here in bangkok, i will only disclose the name when i am sure of who i am talking to. If you are willing to assist us, almighty God will rewards you thousand fold.. but most important, whatever your decision, just keep this within you.

So you're trying to tell me that a "small islamic charitable group", in your own words a "small organization" that does little more than accumulate and distribute food and books to schools has amassed a wealth of ฿178,000,000.00 (THB) - which is approximately $4,717,000.00 (USD) - doing this?

You couldn't even try to come up with something more plausible than that? Jeez.

Please contact me on this email niyom@email.com or niyom_w66@yahoo.com

I don't think so, but I will let the owners of Email.com and Yahoo.com know you're abusing their policies by sending out unsolicited scams.

May Allah bless you
yours sincerely
Niyom Wataporn

You're a Fucking Idiot,
P. Sophia Magdalena

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Vera Asif of Senegal

Dear / Madam,

Greetings to you and respond urgently to my email, I really know that you can stand as my mine, as i believe you and also to let you know the secret of my life and i will like you to promise me that you will not disappoint me in terms of rest of my life fund inherited for investment with you in your country.

That was nothing more than one, long, rambling, incomprehensible run-on sentence. Not a way to bait the victim, now is it?

Please it�s secret!!! My late father deposited money ($10,500,000 USD) in one of the Finance Firm here in DAKAR SENEGAL which i am the next of kin as the only child of my father so i want you to stand and claim this money on my behalf as next of kin of this money as you can see, i can't handle this transfer because of my condition here in the camp.

1) What camp? When did a camp come into this? You have no idea of linear story-telling, do you?

2) If you want to hook people into falling for your scam, writing a letter that might actually be readable is something I recommend. You sound like a 10 year-old; a really stupid one.

After successfully transferred of the funds within the next seven days according the firm and my arrangement, i will be planning of meeting you in your country, as your good foreign investment partner who i will invest the funds with there, i have all the deposited fund covering documents and it's bearing my name as the next of kin and the only doughtier of the family who will inherit his late father properties.

Your English gives a whole new meaning to the word "horrible".

I particularly love this sentence (emphasis mine): "...and the doughtier of the family who will inherit his late father properties." Planning on a sex change, there, Vera?

I have map out 35% percentages of the total fund for you as you own commissions of assisting me to confirm the received of the fund and my investor to manage the funds on my behalf there in your country.I wait for your reply answer soonest.

At this point, I would have to say it's time for a new scammer-to-English translator because no one in their right mind would fall for something so poorly written - mainly because they wouldn't understand half of what you said.

Must be one of those n00b lads (scammers).

- Miss, Vera Asif

There's No Comma After 'Miss', Stupid:
Princess Sophia

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Praise Uwaoma of Sierra-Leone

From: "Mrs Praise Uwaoma" <praise1@atlas.sk>
Subject: DONATION FOR THE LORD
From: Mrs. Praise Uwaoma

PLEASE ENDEAVOUR TO USE IT FOR THE CHILDREN OF GOD.I am the above name person from Sierra-Leone. I am married to Dr Theophilus Uwaoma who worked with Sierra Leonian Embassy in South Africa for nine years before he died in the year 2001. We were married for eleven years without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days. Before his death we were both born again Christians and we lived happilly. Since his death, I decided not to re-marry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is really against.

The Bible is against remarrying and having a child with your new huband? Which version are you reading, exactly?

When my late husband was alive he secured $15Million (Fifteen Million U.S. Dollars) with financial institution here in Cote D'Ivoire. Presently, this money is still with the financial institution. Recently, my Doctor told me that from all the test conducted on my health, I am not going to last long, expecially, due to my cancer and stroke. But what disturbs me most now is stroke.

Seems like what should be disturbing you most is dying, but that's just me. A shame isn't it? $15 mil and not a penny of it can help save your life.

Having known my condition, I decided to donate this fund to churches or Christian individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct. I want a church or individual that will use this money to fund churches, Orphanages and Widows. Also, the propagation of the work of God, building and maintaining the house of God through this money, is very important.

I'm all about God and The Church - send me the money - I'll do everything you want with it (until you finally keel over and die, and then it's all mine!!).

It amazes me that you would just trust some stranger with something so huge; that stroke must've affected your brain, eh?

The Bible made us to understand that Blessed is the hand that giveth. I took this decision because I don't have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians.

Those heathen bastards! We certainly can't trust them to do good things with the money, now can we?

I don?t want my husband's hard earned money to be misused by unbelievers, for their own selfish interest and in an ungodly manner. I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going.

Yes, I remember, not afraid of death but disturbed by the idea of a stroke; very interesting logic.

I know that I am going to be in the bossom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace.

The Lord's bossom, eh? You'll be comfortable - I've heard She has a great rack. Perhaps if your heathen in-laws realized this, they'd be more willing to conform to God's word.

I don't need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health, and because of the presence of my husband's relatives around me sometimes. I don't want them to know about this development, but I know that With God all things are possible.

Including finding a completely clueless stranger to believe this tripe you've presented to me here in this email.

As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the Financial institution in Ivory coast. I will also give you all information regarding the deposit of this money. I will also issue you a letter of authority that will empower you as the original- beneficiary of this fund.

I would also like to request a picture of you, nude, covered completely in peanut butter. Hey, I'm not God - I need a little incentive to do good works.

I want you and your church to always pray for me because God work in misterious ways.

He also works in "mysterious" ones; She is truly amazing.

My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian. Who ever that wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and truth. Please always be prayerful all through your life.

Who needs to pray when I'll have close to $15 mil being dumped in my lap by an old broad who's about to kick the bucket? I'll be set - no need to beg God to help with the car payments anymore.

Any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing for a church or christian individual for this same purpose. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated herein. Hoping to hear from you soon.

Oh I'll be contacting you - I'm not letting anyone else touch this money. How often does a stroke-addled granny email you offering a percentage of $15 million with the childish belief that you're going to use it as she requests? Not very.

Remain blessed in the name of the Lord.

I'd hate to be around you in a lightening storm.

Yours in Christ,
Mrs Praise Uwaoma

Yours in Tesla,
P. Sophia Magdalena

<-- Back to Top -->

Danjuma Ali of Ouagadougou

From: "danjuma ali" <danjuma_ali100@hotmail.com>
Subject: urgent assistance

FROM THE DESK OF MR DANJUMA ALI
BILLS AND EXCHANGE MANAGER,
BANK OF AFRICA (B.O.A)
OUAGADOUGOU-BURKINA FASO.

Dear Friend,

I am the manager of bill and exchange at the foreign remittance department of BANK OF AFrica(B.O.A) here in Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso. In my department we discovered an abandoned sum of 10.5m (TEN MILLION FIVE HUNDERD THOUSAND US DOLLARS) in an account that belongs to one of our foreign customer (MR. ANDREAS SCHRANNER from Munich, Germany) who died along with his entire family in Jully 2000 in a plane crash.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm

You know what's amazing - how many people that work at the "Bank of Africa" are interested in taking over the "abandoned" money left by poor Mr. Schranner. This might work better (and be more profitable) if you worked together.

You know, instead of all going after the same sum, you could join forces and work as a team? I'm sure you know Mr. Kera Diop, Mr. Ousmane Kaba, Dr. Zongo Ibrahim, and Mr. John Williams - since you all work at the same bank in Ouagodougou. I think you five all need to sit down and have a long talk.

Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting his next of kin to come over and claim his money because we cannot release it unless some body applies for it as next of kin or relation to the deceased as indicated in our banking guidlings and laws but unfortunately we learntthat all his supposed next of kin or relation died alongside with him at the plane crash leavingnobody behind for the claim. It is therefore upon this discovery that I now decided to make this business proposal to you and release the money to you as the next of kin or relation to the deceased for safety and subsequent disbursement since nobody is coming for it and we don't want this money to go into the bank treasury as unclaimed bill.

We don't? Why don't we?

The banking law and guidline here stipulates that if such money remained unclaimed after fours years, the money will be transfered into the bank treasury as unclaimed fund. The request of foreigner as next of kin in this business is occassioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner and a Burkinabe cannot stand as next of kin to a foreigner.

But, Mr. Ali, this is 2006. If Mr. Schranner and his family died in 2000 (as the BBC link you provided claims), hasn't the money already been transferred into the bank treasury - and is no longer available for pillaging?

I think it's time to come up with a new story, or to extend that bank "law" you invented.

I agree that 30% of this money will be for you as a respect to the provision of a foriegn account , 10% will be set aside for expenses incurred during the business and 60% would be for me

Hell no. You take 30%, and I want 60% just for not reporting your ass to the Ouagodougou authorities and the president of the "Bank of Africa".

Thereafter, I will visit your country for disbursement according to the percentage indicated

You'd better find a place to stay. My landlord doesn't allow me to have guests over more than one night at a time.

Therefore, to enable the immediate transfer of this fund to you arranged,you must apply first to the bank as relation or next of kin of the deceased indicating your bank name, your bank account number, your private telephone and fax number for easy and effective communication and location where in the money will be remitted.

And exactly how am I supposed to prove that I am related to the Schranners, genius?

Upon receipt of your reply, I will send to you by fax or email the text of the application . I will not fail to bring to your notice this transaction is hitch-free and that you should not entertain any atom of fear as all required arrangements have been made for the transfer.

Hitch-free? You're asking me to fake a relation to a deceased customer so that you and I can run off with his "abandoned" money rather than it going into an "unclaimed fund" and, most likely then, on to the government.

If someone had an "atom" of sense, they'd of deleted this piece of bullshit the second they opened it.

You should contact me with my private email address for more information.

danjuma_ali0007@yahoo.com

I won't contact you, but I'm sure there are many that will, lad.

Thanks for your co-operation.
Your sincerely MR DANJUMA ALI

Thanks for the laughs, moron.
Never yours, Princess Sophia

<-- Back to Top -->

Francis David of Liberia

From: "francis david" <francisdavid01@yahoo.fr>
Subject: assistance needed

DEAREST,

NATURALY, I KNOW THIS MESSAGE WILL COME TO YOU AS A SURPRISE, SINCE WE HAVE NOT MET BEFORE.

Talk about surprise - I fell out of my damn chair when I saw this in my inbox!

BUT FROM SINCERE MIND WITH HONEST DESIRE FOR ASSISTANCE AND TO ESTABLISH MUTUAL RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU. WE CHOOSED YOUR NAME AND YOUR CONTACT BECUASE, BEFORE WE SEND OUT THIS MESSAGE TO YOU, I PRAYED AND FASTED WITH MY SISTER BEGGING ALMIGHTY GOD TO PROVIDE FOR US A TRUSTWORTHY AND A GOD FEARING PERSON.

And God gave you my email address? He surely does work in mysterious ways.

PLEASE WE CONFIDE IN YOU AS AN HONEST PERSON WHO WILL BY YOUR VIRTUE OF POSSITION WILL PROTECT OUR INTEREST TO THE LAST. I STRONGLY BELEIVE THAT AFTER THIS TRANSACTION IS OVER, OUR RELATIONSHIP WILL BE MORE STRONG BECAUSE I LOVE HE/SHE THAT REALY SHOWN CONCERN ON ME AND I BELEIVE WE WILL HAVE THE CAURSE TO CELEBRATE.

I already have a "caurse" to celebrate - I'm quite happy to know I'm on God's "trustworthy and God-fearing" email list.

INTRODUCTION: I AM FRANCIS,THE SON OF GENERAL WILLIAM DAVID THE CHAIRMAN, DIRECTOR OF REP OF LIBERIAN DIAMOND AND GOLD MINING CORPORATION AND MY SISTER ANNA DADID. I AM 25 YRS OLD. I AM STILL A STUDENT IN THE UNIVERSITY OF LIBERIA, FROM A ROYAL AND CHRISTAN FAMILY.(I AM SINGLE) WHEN MY FATHER WAS ALIFE, HE TRAVELLED TO IVORY COAST AND DEPOSITED ONE TRUNK BOX CONTAINING US$25,000.000.00(EIGHTEEN MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS) IN A TRUST SECURITY COMPANY.

I'm on God's email list!?

MY FATHER WAS ASSASINATED AND KILLED BY THE MILITARY JUNTA COMANDING BY LIBERIAN PRESIDENT MR CHARLES TAYLOR BECAUSE OF THE CORPORATION WHICH MY DADDY OCCUPIED ALONE BECAUSE OF HIS POSSITION IN THE COUNTRY.

He was assassinated and killed? That's...amazing.

BEFORE THE ASSASINATION OF MY DADDY HE CONFIDENTIALLY DISCLOSED TO US ABOUT THE DEPOSIT IN IVORY COAST AND ALSO HE INSTRUCTED US ON HOW TO MANAGE THE MONEY AND WORNED ME AS HIS ONLY SON THAT I SHOULD BE VERY CAREFUL AND CONTINUE LIVING MY LIFE IN A CHRISTAN WAY.

What about your sister? He doesn't care if she's a wanton slut as long as his "only son" is a good Christian? Your father sounds like an interesting man. Too bad I couldn't meet him before he was assassinated and killed.

FINALLY, HE DISCLOSED TO US ON HOW HE SECURED THE MONEY AND WHY HE MADE THE DEPOSIT IN IVORY COAST. HE ESPECIALLY TOLD ME TO LOOK FOR A FORIEGN PARTNER THAT WILL HELP US THAT WE SHOULD BE CAREFUL FOR OUR AFRICANS THAT HIS PRESENT CONDITION NOW (POISION) IS THE WORK OF OUR AFRICANS.

Oh yeah, we don't use poison over here. A bullet to the head is much, much more effective (though a tad messier).

ACCORDING TO HIM, NONE OF THE OFFICIALS OF THE TRUST COMPANY IS AWARE OF THE REAL CONTENT OF THE BOX. HE TOLD THE COMPANY THAT THE BOX BELONG TO HIS FORIEGN FRIEND WHO WILL LATER COME TO CLAIM IT AND HE IS WITH THE KEY OF THE BOX. ACCORDING TO MY FATHER,THIS MONEY WAS PAID TO THE CORPORATION BY ITS OVERSEAS CUSTOMER THE TOTAL SUM OF US$40,000.000.00(FOURTY MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS) WITH HIS POSSITION IN THE COPORATION, HE PAID ONLY (US$15,000.000.00(FIFTEEN MILLION US DOLLARS) TO THE GOVERNMENT ACCOUNT IN SWISS BANK AND US$25,000.000.00 WAS CARRIED TO IVORY COAST BY MY FATHER AND DEPOSITED IN A TRUST SECURITY COMPANY WITH THE HOPE OF CONVERTING IT FOR OUR FAMILY USE BECAUSE OF THE PRESENT CONDITION AND PROBLEMS IN THE CORPORATION IN OUR COUNTRY.

So your Dad stole money from the corporation and hid it for his family to use later on? That doesn't very Christian-like to me.

MY MOTHER MRS ROSEMARY DAVID DIED AFTER A BRIEF ILLNESS SHORTLY AFTER THE DEATH OF MY LATE FATHER BECAUSE OF THE ASSASINATION OF OUR DADDY, THAT THE COUNTRY IS SO HOT AND BOARD OF DIRECTORS IN THE COPORATION RECENTLY CROSS CHECK ALL THE FILES AND UNDERSTAND THAT THE WHOLE MONEY WAS NOT PAID INTO ACCOUNT IN SWISS BANK.

Well, understandably, they are pissed. It is their money, is it not?

AS OUR FATHER HAS DIED WE WERE HELPED BY THE UNITED NATIONS TROOP AND WERE BROUGHT TO THIS COUNTRY IVORY COAST ON OUR REQUEST WHERE THE MONEY WAS DEPOSITED. RIGHT NOW,WE ARE HERE IN AS REFUGEES IN A CHURCH BECAUSE WE DO NOT KNOW ANY BODY HERE AND WOULD WANT TO HID UNTIL WE SUCCESSFULLY CARRIED OUT OUR GOALS.

To what? Take over the government, or smuggle the rest of that corporations' money? Neither sound very legit (or "Christian", I might add).

NOW, WE HAVE GONE TO THE COMPANY TO CONFIRM THE DEPOSIT AND ESTABLISH OWNERSHIP. THEREFORE, WE SOLICIT FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE HOPING THAT YOU ARE HONEST AND TRUST WORTHY IN HELPING US LIFT THE FUND OUT OF AFRICA FOR INVESTIMENT.

I thought your father said the foreign partner had a key. I don't have a key - how can anyone open this box without this key? Sounds like the entire thing is futile to me.

WE CANNOT DO THIS IN OUR OWN AND OUR CONDITION TOO NEED AN URGENT HELP,WE HAVE AGREED TO GIVE YOU 25% OF THE TOTAL SUM FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE AND 5% WILL ADDED TO YOU FOR ALL YOUR EXPENSES YOU MIGHT INCURED ON THIS TRANSACTION.

I might "incure" a lot more than that if I "help" you scammers out - like death. Do you really think people will fall for this shit if you stick a few "good Christian" blurbs in it?

IF YOU ARE INTERESTING IN ASSISTING US LIFT THIS MONEY OUT FROM AFRICA TO YOUR BASE NOW. I WILL HIGHLY APPRECIATE YOUR PHYSICAL PRESENCE IN ABIDJAN-IVORY COAST FOR THE FELLOWING REASONS.

1) TO KNOW EACH OTHER VERY WELL.
2) TO SIGN AN AGREEMENT OF TRUST.
3) TO SEE AND CONFIRM EVERYTHING BY YOUR SELF.
4) TO FINALIZE MODALITIES FOR THE SUCESSFULY LIFTING OF THE FUND TO YOUR BASE. FOR FURTHER CLARIFICATION, I WILL SEND TO YOU ALL THE RELEVANT DOCUMENTS BACKING THE DEPOSIT IN IVORY COAST.

Let me spell that out - you want my "physical" presence so you can beat the shit out of me, take all of my money, and then hold me for ransom for even more money. Yeah, no thanks.

CONTACT US WITH THE ABOVE EMAIL ADDRESS IMMEDIATELY YOU RECEIVE THIS MESSAGE FOR SECURITY REASON. PLEASE YOU MUST MANTAIN ABSOLUTE CONFIDENTIALITY TO ENSURE SUCCESS.

Sure, so no one will know what I'm doing or who I'm traveling overseas to see. Sure; I'll keep it on the down low.

AWAITING YOUR IMMEDIATE RESPONSE.

Keep waiting.

YOURS SINCERELY,
francis david.

Yours Not At All,
Princess Sophia M.

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Barrister Richard Wilson of Dakar-Senegal

From: "BARRISTER RICHARD WILSON" <barrister@barrister.net>
Subject: FROM BARRISTER RICHARD

FROM THE DESK OF: BARRISTER RICHARD WILSON.
RICHARD WILSON & ASSOCIATES
DAKAR-SENEGAL
TEL: + 221 4183337
Email: barristerwilson@terramail.com.sv

Dear Friend,

Friend? Mighty presumptious there, aren't we? I don't even know who the hell you are.

I am Barrister Richard Wilson, a solicitor at law. I am the personal attorney to Mr. Patrick a National of your country who works with a petroleum Company in Europe and he is known and referred to as my Client, he died along with his entire family of a wife and two children in a car accident. Since we heard of his death, I have made several enquires to his embassy to locate any of my clients extended relatives but all my efforts proved unsuccessful and to no avail. After these several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to track his last name over the Internet, to locate any member of his family hence I contacted you.

Which is interesting, considering I do not (nor have I ever) had a "Wilson" anywhere in my main or extended family.

Now my contacts to you is to assist me in repatriating his money which is been lodged in a security/Finance company in a trunk box in Europe, before the money will be confiscated or declared unserviceable by the security/Finance company where he deposit this money valued about $20,500,000 (Twenty Million Five Hundred thousand United States Dollars)

Well if there is no family to claim it - and, obvioiusly, there is not - let it be declared "unserviceable". What difference does it make to you? Oh - you want a piece of the pie, eh? You sneaky bastard.

More importantly, the security/finance company where the deceased client deposited this huge sum of money has served me a write of notice to provide the NEXT OF KIN of my client or the (money) will be confiscated and send to the government treasury as unclaimed funds.

Then I guess it will confiscated, since we've already determined there is no "next of kin".

Since I have tried and failed on several occasions in locating his relatives I am now seeking for your consent to present you as the next of kin to the deceased so that the money will be paid to you while I will come over to your country for the sharing.

Wait. You want me to forge documents claiming I am related to this guy so that you can get nearly half of the entire sum? Somehow, I feel as if I'm being fucked without lube.

I will take 45% while you will take 45% and 5% will be for any expenses incurred during ! the transaction and the remaining 5% will go to any charity organization.

I'm in need - that extra 5% can go to me; as well as the rest - your 45% chunk - since I'm the one that will apparently be putting my ass on the line here.

All I require is your honest cooperation to enable us see this deal through. I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you and I from any breach of the law.

Even though we are, actually, breaching the law, eh?

Finally, if this business interest you, please get in touch with me immediately via my private email address or telephone for security reasons, I will welcome messages that come only from my private email address and telephone. Also indicate to me your contact phone and fax numbers to enable me call you immediately for more information. PLEASE, I RESPECT CONFIDENTIALITY AND I WOULD LIKE YOU TO RESPECT THE CONFIDENTIALITY OF THIS TRANSACTION.

Absolutely. I'd never post this shit online!

I await your urgent response to this message.

I'm sure you do - along with the "urgent" responses of all the hundreds of other possible schmucks you sent this shit out to.

Yours sincerely,
Barrister Richard Wilson (ESQ)
TEL: + 221 4183337
Email: barristerwilson@terramail.com.sv

Thanks for providing your phone number, dumbass!
Princess Sophia I. Magdalena

<-- Back to Top -->

Abdulla Hassan of Bahrain

From: "abdulla hassan" <abdulla.hassan7@virgilio.it>
Subject: WILLING TO ASSIST

WILLING TO ASSIST
My name is Abdulla Hassan, A Bahrain national I have been diagnosed with Oesophageal cancer .It has defiled all forms of medical treatment, and right now I have only about a few months to live, according to medical experts.

Then perhaps you should be out enjoying life instead of sitting inside, sending email to strangers?

I have not particularly lived my life so well, as I never really cared for anyone (not even myself)but my business. Though I am very rich, I was never generous, I was always hostile to people and only focused on my business as that was the only thing I cared for.

You would've done well in politics.

But now I regret all this as I now know that there is more to life than just wanting to have or make all the money in the world.

You're right. There is also dying - wherein none of that other stuff means shit.

I believe when God gives me a second chance to come to this world I would live my life a different way from how I have lived it. Now that God has called me, I have willed and given most of my property and assets to my immediate and extended family members as well as a few close friends .I want God to be merciful to me and accept my soul so, I have decided to give alms to charity organizations, as I want this to be one of the last good deeds I do on earth.

That is all nice for you and your afterlife, but what does it have to do with me?

So far, I have Distributed money to some charity organizations in the U.A.E, Somalia and Malaysia. Now that my health has deteriorated so badly, I cannot do this myself anymore. I once asked members of my family to close one of my accounts and distribute the money which I have there to charity organization in Bulgaria and Pakistan, they refused and kept the money to themselves.

Greedy bastards - maybe when God gives you your second chance on Earth, you can smite them.

Hence, I do not trust them anymore, as they seem not to be contended with what I have leftfor them. The last of my money which no one knows of is the huge cash deposit of Eighteen Million dollars($18,000,000,00) that I have with a finance House abroad. I will want you to help me collect this deposit and despatch it to charity organizations.

Maybe it's just me, but with that much money, wouldn't it be wiser (and safer) to just find an investor to help you invest it - rather than emailing a complete stranger off of the Internet to handle your large sum of money?

N/B:KINDLY NOTE THAT 20% of this funds must go to the tsunami victims and another 10% for your effort and time.

This is going to cost you way more than 10% - my "effort and time" is worth quite a bit more, buddy.

Regards,
Mr.Abdulla Hassan.

Fuck off,
Princess Sophia Magdalena

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Ousmane Kaba of Africa

From: "ousmane kaba" <ouskaba205@hotmail.fr>
Subject: URGENT RESPONSE NEEDED

Dear good friend,
I am Mr. Ousmane Kaba, Branch Manager of Bank Of Africa (B.O.A). I would like to know if this proposal will be worth while for your acceptance.

I doubt it.

I have a Foreign Customer who is an Investor, Crude Oil Merchant and Federal Government Contractor that was a victim with Korean Air Line, flight number 801 with the whole passengers on 6th of augustus 1997 leaving a closing balance of $10.3m in one of his Private US Dollar Account that is been managed by me as the Customer's Account Officer.

I'm listening...

Base on my security report, these funds can be claimed without any hitches as no one is aware of the funds and its closing balance except me and the customer (Now Deceased) therefore, I can present you as the Next of Kin and we will work out the modalities for the claiming of the funds in accordance with the law.

Sounds highly illegal and dangerous. No thanks.

If you are interested, Please call me to discuss in further details and our sharing ratio will be 60% for me and 30% for you.while 10% will be for the naccasery expenciss that might occur along the line.

If I were to do something so stupid, I'd require 85% - and no less. So, no deal.

Thank you,
Sincerely.
Mr. OUSMANE KABA.

Eat Shit & Die,
Princess Sophia

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Daniel Dokie

From: dokie1967@ivenus.com
Subject: Showing Appreciation

Dear Friend,

It takes faith and spirit of God to remember old friend and show Gratification for the time shared together in the past. I take this liberty to inform you that the transaction we were pursing together has finally worked out by God's infinite mercy and favour.

What transaction?

I am happy to inform you that I am in a foreign country for numerous business negotiations and establishment. Iam under going intensive Property and Capital investment project with the foreign firm that helped me in realizing this transaction.

What transaction?

I have raised a duly signed and seal Certified International Bank Cheque, to the tune of USD$750,000.00 (SEVEN HUNDRED AND Fifty THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS) only in your name as COMPENSATION to your dedication,humanity and contribution in the past.

What contribution?

You are required to contact my lawyer Barrister Daniel Kobuna Esq. E-mail: kobunalawfirm@katamail.com and he will advise you further about the shipment of the CIBC to your Residence Address or Office Address.

What?

Sincerely Yours,
Daniel Dokie

This Is The Lamest Scam Ever,
Princess S.

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Dr. Zongo Ibrahim of Ouagadougou

From: "zongo ibrahim" <zongo_ibrahim9000@hotmail.com>
Subject: URGENT AND CONFIDENTAIL

DR.ZONGO IBRAHIM
OUAGADOUGOU, BURKINA FASO.
URGENT AND CONFIDENTAIL

DEAR FRIEND,

How are you today,first i will explain my self a little to you before we continue. I am the manager of bill and exchange at the foreign remittance department of bank of african(BOA). I am writing following the impressive information about you through one of my friends who runs a consultancy firm in my country. He assured me of your capability and reliability to champion this businees opportunity.

Which is amazing, since I don't know - and have never met - any consultants.

In my departmentn we discovered an abandoned sum of $10.5 MILLION US dollars) . In an account that belongs to one of our foreign customer who died along with his entire family in november 2000 in a plane crash.

Yes, you and everyone else at your bank.

Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting his next of kin to come over and claim his money because we cannot release it unless somebody applies for it as next of kin or relation to the deceased as indicated in our banking guidelines but unfortunately we learnt that all his supposed next of kin or relation died alongside with him at the plane crash leaving nobody behind for the claim. It is therefore upon this discovery that I and other officials in my department now decided to make this businness proposal to you and release the money to you as the next of kin or relation to the deceased for safety and subsequent disbursement since nobody is coming for it and we don’t want this money to go into the Bank treasury as unclaimed Bill.

Oh no, we don't want that.

The Banking law and guideline here stipulates that if such money remained unclamed after five years, the money will be transfered into the Bank treasury as unclaimed fund.

Oh no, we're too late! Do any of your scammers know how to add? 2000 to 2006 is six years.

The request of foreigner as next of kin in this business is occasioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner and a Burkinabe cannot stand as next of kin to a foreigner.

I guess that would make sense.

We agree that 30 % of this money will be for you as foreign partner, inrespect to the provision of a foreign account, 10 % will be set aside for expenses incured during the business and 60 % would be for ;me and my colleagues. There after I and my colleagues will visit your country for disbursement accoding to the percentages indicated.

If you can catch me, and my 100%, good luck.

Therefore to enable the immediate trnansfer of this fund to you as arranged, you must apply first to the bank as relations or next of kin of the deceased indicating your bank name, your bank account number, your private telephone and fax number for easy and effective communication and location where in the money will be remitted .

And what name shall I be using? That information might be useful, ya think?

Upon receipt of your reply, I will send to you by fax or email the text of the application. I will not fail to bring to your notice that this transaction is hitch free and that you should not entertain any atom of fear as all required arrangements have been made for the transfer.

My atoms are free of all fear.

You should contact me immediately as soon as you receive this letter. Trusting to hear from you immediately.

CALL ME IMMEDIATELY 00226 76-61-12-83

Oh yes, someone, please, call him.

Your’s faithfully,

DR.ZONGO IBRAHIM
Bill and exchange manager,
bank of african BOA

Doctor of What?
P.S.I.M.

<-- Back to Top -->

John Williams of Ouagadougou

From: "john williams" <john_john010@hotmail.fr>
Subject: FROM MR JOHN WILLIAMS

FROM MR JOHN WILLIAMS
BILL AND EXCHANGE MANAGER
BANK OF AFRICA(BOA)
OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA FASO.

DEAR FRIEND,

I AM THE MANAGER OF BILL AND EXCHANGE AT THE FOREIGN REMITTANCE DEPARTMENT OF BANK OF AFRICA(B.O.A) HERE IN OUAGADOUGOU,BURKINA FASO. IN MY DEPARTMENT WE DISCOVERD AN ABANDONED SUM OF$30 MILLION UNITED STATE DOLLARS(THIRTY MILLION US DOLLARS IN AN ACCOUNT THAT BELONGE TO ONE OF OUR FORIEGN CUSTOMER(MR ENGR. STEVEN MOORE, AUSTRALIA) WHO DIED ALONG WITH HIS ENTIRE FAMILY IN JULY 2000 IN A PLANE CRASH.

Interesting. But why are you contacting me - a complete stranger from across the globe - with this information?

SINCE WE GOT THE INFORMATION ABOUT HIS DEATH, WE HAVE BEEN EXPECTING HIS NEXT OF KIN TO COME OVER AND CLAIM HIS MONEY BECAUSE WE CANNOT RELEASE IT,UNLESS SOMEBODY APPPLIES FOR THE NEXT OF KIN OR RELATION TO THE DECEASED AS INDICATED IN OUR BANKING GUIDLING AND LAW BUT UNFORTUNATELY WE LEARNT THAT HIS NEXT OF KIN DIED ALONG WITH HIM IN THE PLANE CRASH.

Again, this concerns me how?

THE BANKER GUIDLINE HERE A RESPONSABLE PERSON, AND WHO THE BANK CAN INTROSSTED THIS TREASURY AS UNCLAIMED FUND.THE RESQUEST OF FORIEGNER AS NEXT OF KIN IN HIS BUSINESS IS OCCASSIONED BY THE FACT THAT THE CUSTOMER WAS A FOREIGNER AND A BURKINABLE CANNOT STAND AS NEXT OF KIN TO A FOREIGNER.

That entire paragraph made no sense whatsoever.

I AGREE THAT 30% OF THIS MONEY WILL BE FOR YOU AS A RESPECT TO THE PROVISION OF A FOREIGN ACCOUNT,10% WILL BE SET ASIDE FOR ANY EXPENSES INCURRED DURING THE BUSINESS AND 60% WOULD BE FOR ME, THEREAFTER, I WILL VISIT YOUR COUNTRY FOR DISBURSEMENT ACCORDING TO THE PERCENTAGE INDICATED THEREFORE, TO ENABLE THE IMMEDIATE TRANSFER OF THIS FUND TO YOU AS ARRANGED, YOU MUST APPLY FIRST TO THE BANK AS RELATION OR NEXT OF KIN OF THE DECEASED INDICATING YOUR BANK NAME, YOUR BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER, YOUR PRIVATE TELEPHONE NUMBER AND YOUR FAX NUMBER FOR EASY AND EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION AND LOCATION WHERE IN THE MONEY WILL BE REMITTED.

That sounds highly illegal - impersonating this man's next-of-kin to get the money before it goes, unclaimed, to the government?

Again, I question the sagacity of a person who looks to complete, random strangers on the Internet to pull off such a heist.

UPON RECEPIT OF YOUR REPLY, I WILL SEND TO YOU BY FAX OR EMAIL THE TEXT OF APPLICATION.I WILL NOT FAIL TO BRING TO YOUR NOTICE THIS TRANSACTION IS HITCH-FREE AND THAT YOU SHOULD NOT ENTERTAIN ANY ATOM OF FEAR AS ALL REQUIRD ARRANGEMENTS HAVE BEEN MADE FOR THE TRANSFER. YOU SHOULD CONTACT ME IMMEDIATELY AS SOON AS YOU RECEIVE THIS LETTER. TRUSTING TO HEAR FROM YOU IMMEDIATELY.

You guys and your atoms; cracks me up.

YOUR's FAITHFULLY,
MR JOHN WILLIAMS.

Yours Not At All,
P. Sophia

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Barrister Musa Ibrahim of Nigeria

From: "Musa Ibrahim" <musaibrahim@besked.com>
Subject: GOOD DAY

ATTN:

MY name is BARRISTER MUSA IBRAHIM(SAN)I am a private attorney. And I have a client who is interested in investing some good money in your country/company.

And is your client aware you are soliciting investment partners from random email addresses on the Internet?

My client is a very important and prominent person who has mandated me to contact you for a very important business transaction my client is by name Mrs. Maryam Abacha and she is the wife of a Late Military head of state in my country.

Never heard of her. Let's ask Google, shall we?

Ah, yes, she's the wife of the oh-so charming dictator who stole a cool $4.3 billion from public funds during his profitable reign. After her despot of a husband kicked the bucket, she tried to leave the country with a few million stuffed in suitcases - money she, with her husband, had stolen from Nigeria. Yes, charming lady, your client.

Her husband Late General Sanni Abacha made a lot of money through Oil proceeds during his tenure in office. In fact it was discovered after his death that he was worth well over $4.5 billion in United State. Dollars and some of this money was retrieve after he died while some was recovered from officials that served under him during his reign as president of Nigeria.

"Made" is the operative word here. It is my understanding that he stole it - and then his wife tried to cart off a good chunk of it.

The truth of this case is that my client despite the problem she is going through now, she still has a lot of money in her possession, which she intends to invest outside our country.

Invest, eh? Makes more sense than stuffing it in suitcases. It's nice to see Ms. Abacha is getting wiser in her old age.

What my client need from you now is reliable account where she can transfer some money but mind you, all the money in her possessions cannot leave at once because she need to build confidence and trust.

That shouldn't take long, considering she's trusting enough to let you cast this email out to thousands of random strangers telling them about her fortune.

Honestly, can't you mugus come up with anything better?

In some who would not expose her plan to remit and possibly invest in your company. so she has agreed that I should make arrangements for the transfer of $69.5 million United States dollars and you are free to negotiate your mode of compensation even as she intends to invest the money in your country.

Almost $70 million - that's a rather steep price to start just to "establish" trust, eh? Shit, she could've offered $100,000 and most people would've jumped at it (if this was legit, of course).

Please, do not hesitate to indicate your view of this request by contacting me immediately you receive this mail so that the necessary arrangements can be made for the money to leave immediately.

Sure, yes, please - send me $70 million. Then, hold your breath while you wait for me to respond to you.

Due to the present situation of my client, I would be happy if this request can be kept as secret. I would also like to note that there is no risk involved.

Musa, didn't they teach you anything in Social Engineering for 419ers 101? You don't ask that it be "kept as secret" - which indicates there are some nefarious people who need not know about it - then in the next sentence try to assure your victim there is no risk. Stupid, stupid.

Awaiting for your urgent reply.

Awaiting your stupid ass getting busted.

Thanks and Best regards,
BARRISTER MUSA IBRAHIM(SAN)

Kiss MY Ass,
Princess Sophia I. Magdalena

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Alice Kouassi of Cote d'Ivoire

From: "alice kouassi" <a_kouassi@mail.ru>
Subject: Dear beloved

Dear beloved,
You may be surprised to receive this letter from me since you do not know me personally. The purpose of my introduction is that I am Mrs.Alice Kouassi, a widow to Late Clement Kouassi, I am now a new Christian convert, suffering from long time cancer of the breast.

And why do you presume I would give a fuck?

I got your contact through network online hence I decided to write you,

How comforting to know my contact information is floating around for some fatalistic tart to contact me about helping her fulfill her dying wishes.

My late husband was killed during the Gulf war, and during the period of our marriage we had a son who was also killed in a cold blood during the Gulf war.

Wah, wah, wah - can you hear my tiny violin? It's very small; listen hard.

My late husband was very wealthy and after his death, I inherited all his business and wealth.

Good for you. Can't you pay someone else to listen to your pathetic life story, then?

My personal physician told me that I may not live for more than six months and I am so scared about this.

So rather than penning emails to strangers, get out their and live life.

So I now decided to divide part of this wealth, by contributing to thedevelopment of philanthropism in Africa,America,Europe and Asian Countries.This missionwhich will no doubt be tasking had made me to recently relocated to Cote d' Ivoire, Africa where I live presently.

No...one.....cares.

I am willing to donate the sum of $4,500,000.00 Million US Dollars which was deposited a security and finance company to you and your company for the development of philanthropism and also as aids for the less privileged around you.

I'm decidedly less privileged than most - and much less privileged than you, apparently. I'll take the entire sum. I need it. You see, I have this yacht named Tits to maintain...

Please note that, this fund is lying in a Security Company in Cote d' Ivoire To enable you and your ministry,get this funds,contact me with the above email address, the transfer of the money in the name of you or your company Please i want a uegent reply from you

Just send that fat check to:

Princess Sophia Isadora Magdalena
777 Fuckyeah Lane
Whisklick, Pluto 66777

.Lastly, I want you/your company to be praying for me as regards my entire life and my health.

Sure, sure...just send the money, ya old broad.

Please reply me back with this E-mail address contact/
(alice.kouassi@yahoo.com)

Nah, but I will share your address with a company that might be interested - they're called the Federal Bureau of Investigations. Expect to be hearing from them soon.

Yours in Christ,
Mrs Alice Kouassi.

Die Quickly,
Sophia M.

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Mustapha Bello of Dubai

From: "mustapha bello" <mustapha.bello1@hotmail.com>
Subject: Read and reply!

Gooday.

With full trust and understanding I have decided to send you this Proposal, which I trust you, will consider profit oriented.

That's a whole lot of trust you're putting in a complete stranger and in one sentence.

The whole World is completely aware of the recent outbreak of war in Liberia, which the rebels have insisted that the government of president CHARLES TAYLOR must step down from power to give room for dividend of democracy in Liberia.

The whole world minus me, apparently. My friend, Google, however, tells me that Charles Taylor has not been president of Liberia since 2003 and in exile since 2006. What gives?

I am Mustapha Bello The son of late Gen Colin Bello the former chief of defense staff in Liberia, My father died while protecting the Goverment of Charles Taylor as his defense Minister.

Cry me a fucking river.

Sequel to out break of war in Liberia, My father deposited the sum $20,million Us Dollars with a security company in Dubai U.A.E.

I'm starting to see how your father might have died. Exactly where did he happen to get his hands on $20 mil? Something tells me a position as Defense Minister doesn't pay that much.

The money was assign to my father for the rehabilitation of Liberian army barracks and purchase of military war ship and this funds Diverted to my Fathers personal use when the rebels hijack the government of CHARLES TAYLOR. Unfortunately he lost his life.

In other words, your father stole money that was given to him by the government and to be used for Liberia's military. Stealing...must be a family trait.

However, these funds was smuggled through the boarder via a Diplomatic Vault in Liberia and the fund was delivered to Security Company in Dubai in order to work out modalities to have the funds transferred to a foreign bank account.

Once again, your father stealing Liberia's money and doing what he could to see it ended up far away from the country and - eventually - safe in his own coffers. Just carrying on daddy's dream, hm? You know, if you, your father, or this story were real, I'd be fairly disgusted by both of you right about now.

Furthermore, this fund was sealed in two boxes as family treasure and will move as diplomatic Goods. Am presently in Dubai, I want you to honestly assist me in making this transaction successful

You want me to help you finish stealing Liberia's money for your family? Charming. And you expect people to want to help you why?? You really should've stuck with the dying, born-again Christian spiel, mugu.

This is 100% risk-free transaction and profit orient and I have chosen to strike this deal with you if you will not mind.

Ha! 100% risk-free transaction that involves smuggling a country's stolen money into another country via dubious means. Exactly where did you get your definition of "risk-free"?

As an asylum seeker I have no right to be imposition of such huge amount of money

As the son of the thief that stole the money, you have no right to it, I'd say.

that is why I need somebody who will assist me and get this consignment cleared out of the security company, as you can see that my future and that of my younger sisters depends on this funds since all my fathers account has been frozen and for now, we have nothing to boast for except this funds that has been deposited with the security company.

Got to throw in the poor, younger sisters for good measure - otherwise you're completely sinking with getting sympathy for this scam. Who wants to help a family of thieves?

Your attention is highly needed to execute this deal. I will offer you 25% of the funds and we can as well go into JOINT VENTURE and the sharing ratio can be 75-25%.

Bit of a gap there - 25%-75%? How about just a clean, even 75% and I won't report you to the Liberian government.

Finally, I would like if you can send to me via email or fax your contact details, name and address, direct telephone number/mobile so as to reach you and discuss this matter with you.

Yes, let me jump right up and send my contact information to this complete stranger, who has just admitted he's a thief, so I can help illegally smuggle money out of a foreign company. Where were you when they were teaching Social Engineering? This your first scam or something? You suck!

Upon the receipt of your positive response, I will no if you can come down here in Dubai to meet face to face with me or to commence negotiation with the security Company to have the consignment lifted to your country of origin through a diplomatic means. I will secure all clearance documents through diplomatic authorities, which the original copies will be handed over to you upon the delivery of the consignment.

Looking forward to hear from you soon and I hope to do business with You.

Oh I bet you do.

Thanks and God bless you. Regards,
Mustapha Bello.

You Need a Real Job,
P. Sophia

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Samir Rabia of Baghdad

From: "Samir Rabia" <samirrabia4@virgilio.it>
Subject: Investment Plan

Investment Plan

There's a new one.

Please read!

Do I have a choice?

In April 2003, Staff Sergeant Kenneth Buff of the United States Army found US$160 million hidden by fleeing members of the Baath Party led by former dictator Saddam Hussein of Iraq. Later, a search of the area revealed more hidden loot, totaling US$650 million in all! For a detailed account of the money found by the US Soldiers, please click on the following website:

http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2003/04/20/1050777165192.html

I get it - trick the greedy Americans by making them think they're stealing some of the evil Saddam Hussein's ill-gotten gains. Tricky - but will it work?

Last week, during a routine archaeological excavation of the area east of Tigris River, I discovered 2 boxes of the similar kind found by US Army!

Yay for you! And you immediately decided to jump on the Internet and send a completely random email to a perfect stranger to tell them about it?!

After careful examination I discovered that it is $100 US Dollars notes totaling USD 7Million, which I concealed personally and packaged in one box hidden safely at my place of residence.

What did you do with the other box?

I need foreign help! Can you help me? I do not have any foreign contacts.

So you thought the best way to get one would be to grab an email at random from the vastness of cyberspace. I like your thinking, Samir.

I will therefore appreciate your help to move this money abroad for investment. If you are interested, please reply urgently so that we can conclude the plan to move this money.

You've got the money, fly your damn self over here and invest it yourself.

It will be 100% risk free! You will not be required to travel to Iraq.

Good thing, because I have no intentions of doing so.

Rather I can send it to you via diplomatic courier service through special arrangement to your country for you to clear and collect and proceed for subsequent lodgment of the money into your designated account pending my arrival as time can permit me.

That's it? You're going to send me $7 mil - me, a complete stranger - and expect me to invest it for you? Genius, pure genius, Samir. Did I mention I like the way you think?

May Allah bless you!

Can I have the other box, too?

Regards,
Samir Abou Rabia
Baghdad Iraq

samirrabia2@redejovem.net

Gullible Freaks Are Fun,
Princess Sophia

<-- Back to Top -->

Dr. Diego Seahm of Ouagadougou

From: "Diego Seahm" <di_32ah@hotmail.fr>
Subject: Trusting to hear from you immediately.

FROM THE DESK OF DR. DIEGO SEAHM
BILL AND EXCHANGE MANAGER,
AFRICAN DEVELOPMENT BANK
OUAGADOUGOU, BURKINA FASO.
TEL:00226-78-81-04-32

Dear Friend,

I know that this letter may come to you as a surprise but due to the urgency of this transaction.

But...what? You do realize that sentence made no sense in English, right?

First I must solicit your confidence in this transaction, this is by virtue of it's nature as being utterly confidential and top secret.

Say that again?

Though I know that a transaction of this magnitude will makeany one apprehensive and worried, but I am assuring you that all will be well at the end of the day.

What magnitude? What transaction? Putting the cart before the horse here, I think.

There is no doubt that trust conceptually is a conundrum which leads itself to deferring interpretation, we have decided to contact you due to the urgency of this transaction.

That is my new favorite saying! "There is no doubt that trust conceptually is a conundrum which leads itself to deferring interpretation". Omfg - you can't make this shit up! What in the hell is that supposed to mean?!!

I am the manager of bill and exchange at the foreign remittance department of African Development bank (ADB). I came to know you in my private search for a reliable and reputable person to handle this Confidential Transaction, which involves the transfer of a huge sum of money to a foreign account requiring maximum confidence.

You came to know me, eh? And so then you must know that I take letters like this and poke fun of them on my website. Or was your research not quite that thorough? Figures, you stupid mugu.

I am writing to you, following the impressive information received about you from the chambers of commerce.

About me? Chambers of Commerce? And you expect people to fall for this shit, that's the amazing part!

I believed that you are capable and reliable to champion this business opportunity.

Oh yeah, I'm as capable and reliable as they come.

In my department we discovered an abandoned sum of $30m US dollars (Thirty million US dollars). In an account that belongs to one of our foreign customer who died along with his entire family On Monday, 33 July, 2000, 13:22 GMT 14:22 UK, 2000 through concorde air lane with flight N AF4590 crashed off, killing all 109 people on board and you can view the site for more details:

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm

Yes, apparently this man had quite a few unclaimed bank accounts in quite a few African banks. You wouldn't believe how many others have contacted me about this very same guy's abandoned assets!

If he did have any surviving relatives, they'd have to spend years going around to all the different banks this guy used just to collect all of his money!

Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting his next of kin to come over and claim his money because we cannot release it unless somebody applies for it as next of kin or relation to the deceased as indicated in our banking guidelines but unfortunately we learnt that all his supposed next of kin or relation died alongside with him at the plane crash leaving nobody behind for the claim.

Yada, yada, blah, blah, blech. Haven't you guys come up with something better yet? This scam is getting o-l-d.

It is therefore upon this discovery that I and other officials in my department now decided to make this business proposal to you and release the money to you as the next of kin or relation to the deceased for safety and subsequent disbursement since nobody is coming for it and we don't want this money to go into the Bank treasury as unclaimed Bill.

Oh no, we wouldn't want that. No, all of us should definitely claim this money which is not ours. Makes perfect sense to me.

The Banking law and guideline here stipulates that if such money remained unclaimed after ten years, the money will be transferred into the Bank treasury as unclaimed fund. The request of foreigner as next of kin in this business is occasioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner and a Burkinabe cannot stand as next of kin to a foreigner.

Well, at least you idiots changed the number of years this cut-and-paste scam gave before the unclaimed money was no longer available. Most of you asshats were sending this crap saying the money went into a flush fund after five years, and then you paired that with a story of a man and his family who'd been dead for seven. Real smart.

We agree that 30% of this money will be for you as foreign partner, in respect to the provision of a foreign account, 10 % will be set aside for expenses incurred during the business and 60 % would be for me and my colleagues. There after I and my colleagues will visit your country fordisbursement according to the percentages indicated.

You guys are such assholes. As IF I'm going to take only 30% of the profit when 1) I would be (were this real and not a scam, I'm saying) doing all of the work and 2) putting my ass on the line by claiming - illegally, mind you - to be the next of kin. 30% my motherfucking ass - you would give me 75% and no less.

Therefore to enable the immediate transfer of this fund to you as arranged, you must apply first to the bank as relations or next of kin of the deceased indicating your bank name, your bank account number, your private telephone and fax number for easy and effective communication and location where in the money will be remitted.

Just like that, these scammers expect people to send them their name, bank account #, telephone #, so on and so forth. The sad thing is? Many people do.

Upon receipt of your reply, I will send to you by fax or email the text of the application. I will not fail to bring to your notice that this transaction is hitch free and that you should not entertain any atom of fear as all required arrangements have been made for the transfer.

There's that damn atom again.

You should contact me immediately as soon as you receive this letter.

Nah, think I'll sit on it for a few months first.

Trusting to hear from you immediately.

Remember to hold your breath!

Yours faithfully,
Dr. Diego Seahm,
Bill and exchange manager,
African Development bank ADB

Not In Any Way, Shape, or Form Yours,
Mags

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Charles Brown of Manchester

From: "Charles Brown" <charlesbrown29@virgilio.it>
Subject: Between you and me

Between you and me, eh? Between you and me is a whole lot of bullshit.

Greetings

Fuck off.

I am Barr Charles Brown, a Canadian attorney based in Manchester, United Kingdom and the personal attorney to Late Mr Mark Michelle, a French National.

And I give two shits, why?

Late Mr Mark Michelle is a private oil consultant/contractor with the Shell Petroleum Development in Saudi Arabia, herein after shall be referred to as my client.

Was, you mean. He was a private oil consultant/contractor. Get it right, you're hurting my damn English ear.

On 23rd December 2003, my client and his wife with their three children were involved in an auto crash, all occupants of the vehicle unfortunately lost their lives.

Tragic, indeed. What's much more tragic, though, is you disgusting, spineless, scum exploiting this family's death for your own personal gain. You fucking disgust me.

Since then, I have made several enquiries with his countrys' embassies to locate any of my clients extended relatives.

How many countries did he belong to, exactly?

After several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to personally contact you with this business partnership proposal.

Why? I'm not one of his relatives. Is that what your bank does when they can't contact a relative, grab a random stranger off the street?

The deceased had a deposit valued presently at Eighteen Million United states dollars and the company has issued me a notice to provide his next of kin or beneficiary.

And you couldn't, so you decided to - instead - provide them with a fake person posing as next of kin? You sneaky devil, you. Where did you ever come up with such an idea - it's just so original!

Having been unsuccessful in locating any of my late client relatives for over two (2) years now. I am now seeking your consent to present you as the next of kin/beneficiary to the deceased so that the proceeds of this account valued at Eighteen Million United states dollars can be paid to you.

Oh, sure, yeah, that makes perfect sense. No next of kin? No problem - have a complete stranger stand in. Collect the money and run like hell...lovely plan.

I have worked out modalities for achieving my aim of appointing a next of kin as well as transfer the money abroad for us to share in the ratio of 50% for me and 35% to you and we shall collectively donate 10% to the Tsunami relief course while 5% will be set aside for any incurable expenses both local and international.

Again, if you expect me to pull some illegal shit like this, my pay better be way more than 35%. What the hell do you get 50% for anyway? Tracking me down? Oooh, hard work.

The money transfer paperwork itself will include a certificate of origin so that the receiving bank does not ask question. Also the paperwork will include proper certificate that the fund being transferred is from non- criminal sources.

You have to have paperwork that says the money isn't being transferred from criminal sources? What the fuck?

In short this will be a proper and legal money transfer with no risk involved. The transaction is guaranteed to succeed without any problem.

Biggest line of bullshit ever.

As soon as I hear from you, I shall provide you with further clarification that you may need to know.

Oh, I bet you will. How about the clarification of your name and address so I can turn your ass into the proper authorities?

Best wishes,
Charles Brown. Esq.

Best Wishes You Get Caught,
Princess Sophia M.

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Ibrahim Mussa of Ouagadougou

From: "ibrahim_ mussa3" <ibrahim_mussa3@hotmail.fr>
Subject: With Due Respect

FROM THE DESK OF IBRAHIM MUSSA,
BILL AND EXCHANGE MANAGER,
AFRICAN DEVELOPMENT BANK(ADB)
OUAGADOUGOU,BURKINA FASO.WEST AFRICA.

With Due Respect

I am the manager of bill and exchange at the foreign remittance department of african development bank (ADB). I crave your indulgence as i contact you in such a surprising manner. But I respectfully insist you read this letter carefully as I am optimistic it will open doors for unimaginable financial rewards for both of us.

In my department we discovered an abandoned sum of Ten Million,Five Hundred Thousand US dollars (US$10.5m) only , in an account that belongs to one of our foreign customer who died along with his entire family in November 2001 in a plan crash. Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting his next of kin to come over and claim his money because we cannot release it unless somebody applies for it as next of kin or relation to the deceased as indicated in our banking guidelines but unfortunately we learnt that all his supposed next of kin or relation died along with him at the plan crash leaving nobody behind for the claim.

It is therefore upon this discovery that I now decided to make this business proposal to you so that the money could be released to you as the next of kin or relation to the deceased for safety and subsequent disbursement since nobody is coming for it and i dont want this money to go into the bank treasury as unclaimed Bill.

The Banking law and guideline here stipulates that if such money remained unclaimed after five years, the money will be transferred into the Bank treasury as "unclaimed fund". The request for a foreigner as next of kin in this business is occasioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner and a Burkinabe cannot stand as next of kin to a foreigner. We agree that 30% of this money will be for you as a foreign partner, in respect to the provision of a foreign account , 10% will be set aside for expenses incurred during the business and 60% would be for me.

There after I will visit your country for disbursement according to the percentages indicated. Therefore to enable the immediate transfer of this fund to you as arranged, you must apply first to the bank as relation or next of kin of the deceased indicating your bank name,your bank account number, your private telephone and fax number for easy and effective communication and location wherein the money will be remitted. Upon receipt of your reply,I will send to you by fax or email the text of the application.I will not fail to bring to your notice that this transaction is hitch free and that you should not entertain any atom of fear as all required arrangements have been made for the transfer. You should contact me immediately as soon as you receive this letter. Trusting to hear from
you immediately.

Yours faithfully,
ibrahim mussa,
Bill and exchange manager,
African Development bank ADB

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Rosemary King of London

Subject: Attn:
From: "Mrs Rosemary King" <mrosaking@4memail.co.uk>

Hello Friend,
My name is Mrs. Rosemary King I am a dying woman who has decided to donatewhat I have to charity through you. You may be wondering why I chose you. But someone has to be chosen. I am 59 years old and was diagnosed for cancer about 2 years ago, after the death of my husband who had left me everything he worked for. I have been touched by the lord to donate from what I have inherited from my late husband to charity through you for the good work of humanity, rather than allow my relatives to use my husbands hard earned funds inappropriately.

I have asked the lord to forgive me all my sins and I believe he has, because He is merciful. I am presently in London waiting for an operation and praying that I survive. I have decided to WILL/Donate the sum of $15 Million (Fifteen Million Dollars) of my husband investment in Africa to charity through you for the good work of the lord, and to help the motherless, less privileged and also for the assistance of the widows.

You may wonder, why don't I call the the many charity group and donate the fund to them, This fund as I write to you, is deposited in the sundry account of a Bank in Africa, Due to my health, I cannot process the necessary fund release procedure and have the fund transfered to my account here in London, So I have decided to seek your assistance. First to process and obtain this fund and secondly to help in fulfilling my wish, which is donating to charity.

If you are willing and able to complete this thank, 30% of the totaling sum will be yours to cover your expenses. Kindly send me your contact details on receipt of this message so that I can contact my attorney of your WILLINGNESS to assist in this course

NB: I will appreciate your utmost confidentiality in this matter until the task is accomplished, as I don't want anything that will Jeopardize my last wish, due to the fact that I do not want relatives or family members standing in the way of my last wish.

Love,
Rosemary King

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Kadi Amara of Senegal

From: "kadi amara" <kadi_ama3@hotmail.fr>
Subject: DEAR FRIEND.

#120, WAYO TIMO,
MARINA,
DAKAR, SENEGAL.
Assalamaulakum.

My Dear Friend,
Compliments of the season.I did like to send to you the best wishes of good health and success in your pursuits particularly through my proposal as contained in this letter. i may not wish to disclose how I got your email address for now. After due deliberation with my son,I decided to forward to you this business proposal, we want you to assist us .I will give you more information. As to this regard as soon as you reply.

I am Mrs. Kadi Amara, I am contacting you with the hope that you will be of great assistance to me, I currently have within my reach the sum of $ 5.3 million U.S dollars cash which I intend to use for investment purposes.

I therefore personally appeal to you seriously and religiously for your urgent assistance to move this money in to your country where I believe it will be safe since I cannot leave the country due to the restriction of movement imposed on the members of my family by the Senegal Government.

This money came as a result of a payback contract deal between my husband and a Russian firm in our country.The Russian partners returned my husbands share .Presently, the Government has intensified their probe in to my husbands financial resources which has led to the freezing of all our accounts, local and foreign, the revoking of all our business licences and the arrest of my First son.

In view of this I want to acted very fast to withdraw this money from one of our finance houses before it will be closed down.My husband deposited the money in a finance firm for safe keeping . No record is known about this fund by the government because there is no documentation showing that we have such funds.

Further more, my elder son have been in detention in the last four years following the death of my late husband for charges of State organized murder and corrupt practices. he was just been released by the Supreme Court after the president brokered a deal with my family regarding his freedom. and he is still under interrogation about my late husband's assets and some vital documents.

Due to the current situation in the country and government attitude to my family,I cannot make use of this money within, thus I seek your help in transferring this funds out for investment than leaving the fund here and to invest the money to profit my family Bearing in mind that you may assist me.l have decided to part with 25% of the total sum.

I am seriously considering to settle down abroad in a friendly atmosphere like yours as soon as this fund get into your account so that I can start all over again if only you wish. I shall ask my son Mohammed to come over to your country to liaise with you. If this proposal satisfies you. please do not let me out to the security as I am giving you this information in total trust and confidence.

Please kindly reply by return mail and please include your personal telephone and fax numbers. Conclusively,we have decided part with 25% of the total sum. of the total sum,10% will be for expenses incurred during thecause of this transaction, while 65% is to be held on trust by you until we can decide on a suitable business investment in your country subsequent to our free movement by the Senegal Government.

I will greatly appreciate if you accept my proposal in good faith. Your URGENT response is needed.

Regards and God Bless you.
Mrs Kadi Amara.

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Nikolai Yaroslav of Russia

From: "Nikolai Yaroslav." <nyaroslav@yaroslav.com>
Subject: please,contact me ASAP...Yaroslav.

Goodday,

I am Nikolai Yaroslav and I represent Mr. Mikhail Khodorkovsky the former C.E.O of Yukos Oil Company in Russia. I have a very sensitive and confidential brief from this top (oligarch) to ask for your partnership in re-profiling funds US$510 Million. I will give the details, but in summary, the funds are coming via Bank Menatep. This is a legitimate transaction. You will be paid 12% for your "Management Fees".

If you are interested, kindly send me an email to my confidential email address (n11yaroslav@yahoo.co.uk} ONLY, and provide me with your confidential telephone number, fax number and email address and I will provide further details and instructions. Please keep this to yourself alone; we cannot afford more political problems.

Finally, please note that this must be concluded within two weeks. Please write back promptly. I look forward to working with you.

Regards,
Nikolai Yaroslav.

You can view the following websites for more info on Mikhail Khodorkovsky:

http://www.mosnews.com/mn-files/yukos.shtml#news
http://newsfromrussia.com/main/2005/03/29/58914.html
http://www.interfax.ru/e/B/politics/28.html?id_issue=11261041
http://www.supportmbk.com
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/4041115.stm
http://www.nationmaster.com/encyclopedia/Mikhail-Khodorkovsky

NB:Pls,ignore this mail if you are not interested in the offer and/or if you lack the ability to handle large Sums of money.

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Dr. Epiphany Mokwelu of Nigeria

From: "Foreign Operations" <ofuani@bollyneedz.org>
Reply-To: fiduciary_cocacolaplc@yahoo.co.uk
Subject: OVER DUE PAYMENT CLAIM

EMAIL: foreignoperations@swiftcontinental.com

Dear:Sir/Madam,

PART PAYMENT NOTIFICATION OF US$10.5M.

I am Dr.Epiphany Mokwelu, Director, Foreign operations dept. Continental Trust Bank Limited in conjunction with the Central Bank Of Nigeria who is the mother Bank. My office monitors and controls the affairs of all banks and financial institutions in Nigeria concerned with foreign claim payments.

I am the final signatory to any transfer of huge funds moving within banks both on the local and international levels in line with foreign claim settlement.

I have before my list of funds, which could not be transferred to some nominated accounts as these accounts have been identified either as unclaimed deposits or over-invoiced sum. As it is my duty to recommend the transfer of these surplus funds to the Federal Government Treasury and Reserve Accounts as unclaimed deposits.

I have the opportunity to write you based on the instructions I received from the Foreign reconciliation dept. to submit the List of payment reports/expenditures and audited reports of revenues.

At this juncture, We wish to inform you that your part payment of US$10.5M has been approved through international certified bank draft, payable in our escrow account with our corresponding bank in USA called (JP Morgan Chase,New York). You are hereby advice to recomfirm your contacts info and receiving bank details to enable us send an immediate telex message to JP morgan new york for the clearance of your approved fund through our account with the JP Morgan,New York to your designated bank account.

This office will forward to you a copy of your certified bank draft as soon as we hear from you for comfirmation through your local bank.

You are to reply to me through my official
email:foreignoperations@swiftcontinental.com

Also, we need you to provide us with the following:
a. Your Company Name and Address;
b. Telephone, Fax and Mobile Numbers.
c. Your full names.

Once we receive these informations,l will advise you on what to do next.

Best regards.

DR.EPIPHANY MOKWELU
DIRECTOR, FOREIGN OPERATIONS DEPT.
CONTINENTAL TRUST BANK LTD.

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Paul Lockett of England

Subject: PRIVATE INVESTIGATION
From: Mr. Paul Lockett (paullockett@hsbc.co.uk)
Reply-to: info4mrpaullockett@ubbi.com

Good day,

My name is Mr. Paul Lockett, I am a senior partner in the firm of Infinity Consultants "Private Investigators and Security Consultants". We are conducting a standard process investigation on behalf of "HSBC", the International Banking conglomerate.

This investigation involves a client who shares the same surname with you and also the circumstances surrounding investments made by this client at "HSBC", the Private Banking arm of HSBC. The HSBC Private Banking client died in testate and nominated no successor in title over the investments made with the bank. I would respectfully request that you keep the contents of this mail private and respect the integrity of the information you come by as a result of this mail.

I contact you independently of our investigation and no one is informed of this communication. I would like to intimate you with certain facts that I believe would be of interest to you.

You share similar details to the late fellow; I am prepared to place you in a position to instruct the firm to release the deposit to you as the closest surviving relation. Upon receipt of the deposit, I am prepared to share the money with you, that is, I will simply nominate you as the next of kin and have them release the deposit to you. We share the proceeds 50/50. I would have gone ahead to ask the funds be released to me, but that would have drawn a straight line to me and my involvement in claiming the deposit. But on the other hand, you with the same very name as the depositor's would easily pass as the beneficiary with right to claim. I assure you that I could have the deposit released to you within few days.

I am aware of the consequences of this proposal. I ask that if you find no interest in this project that you should discard this mail. I ask that you do not be vindictive and destructive. If my offer is of no appeal to you, delete this message and forget I ever contacted you. Do not destroy my career because you do not approve of my proposal. You may not know this but people like me who have made tidy sums out of comparable situations run the whole private banking sector. I am not a criminal and what I do, I do not find against good conscience, this may be hard for you to understand, but the dynamics of my industry dictates that I make this move. Such opportunities only come ones in a lifetime. I cannot let this chance pass me by, for once; I have found myself in total control of my destiny. These chances won't pass me by. I ask that you do not destroy my chance, if you will not work with me let me know and let me move on with my life but do not destroy me. I am a family man and this is an opportunity to provide them with new opportunities.

There is a reward for this project and it is a task well worth undertaking. I have evaluated the risks and the only risk I have here is from you refusing to work with me. I am the only one who knows of this situation, good fortune has blessed you with a name that has planted you into the center of relevance in my life. Let’s share the blessing. If you find yourself able to work with me, contact me through this same email account. If you give me positive signals, I will initiate this process towards a conclusion.

I send you this mail not without a measure of fear as to what the consequences, but I know within me that nothing ventured is nothing gained and that success and riches never come easy or on a platter of gold. This is the one truth I have learned from my private banking clients. Do not betray my confidence. If we can be of one accord, we should plan a meeting, soon.

Please reply to my alternative/direct email: info4mrpaullockett@ubbi.com

Kind regards,

Mr. Paul Lockett.
Tel: +44 703389 5782
Fax: +44 707520 9980

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Kelvin Da Salva of Dubai

Subject: Greetings
From kelvin Da Salva (kelvin_da65@hotmail.com)

Hello Friend,

Your first reaction to this mail will be total rejection, scare and maybe disbelief, owning largely to the atrocities people commit these days.But this mail comes from a devastated, sorrowful and emotional laden soul that needs compassion from a kind and good spirited person to wipe away my tears and appropriate my dream and humanitarian gesture.As you read this,I don't want you to feel sorry for me, because, I believe everyone dies someday.

My name is Kelvin Da Salva a merchant in Dubai,in the U.A.E.I worked with Zambian Ministry of Mining and Resources for eight years as a contractor,I have been diagnosed with Esophageal cancer .It has defiled all forms of medical treatment,I am very worried as the doctors have informed me that its terminal.I don't know how much time I have left on earth, hence this mail to you.I have not particularly lived my life well, as I never really cared for anyone but my business.

Though I am very rich, I was never generous,I was always hostile to people and only focused on my business as that was the only thing I cared for. But now I regret all this as I now know that there is more to life than just wanting to have or make all the money in the world.I believe when God gives me a second chance to come to this world I would live my life a different way from how I have lived it.Now that God has called me, I have willed and given most of my property and assets to my immediate and extended family members as well as a few close friends.

I want God to be merciful to me and accept my soul hence, I decided to give alms to charity organizations, as I want this to be one of the last good deeds I do on earth. So far, I have distributed money to some charity organizations in the .A.E,Algeria and Malaysia.Now that my health has deteriorated so badly, I cannot do this myself anymore. I once asked members of my family to close one of my accounts and distribute the money which I have there to charity organization in Bulgaria and Pakistan, they refused and kept the money to themselves. Hence, I do not trust them anymore, as they seem not to be content with what I have left for them.

The last of my money which no one knows of is the huge cash deposit of $8,000,000,00 that I have with a finance/Security Company abroad. I will want you to help me collect this deposit and dispatch it to charity organizations. I have set aside 20% for you and for your time.

God be with you.

Reply to my alternative EMAIL:kel_dasalva65@yahoo.com.hk

Kelvin Da Salva.

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Give up what appears to be doubtful for what is certain. Truth brings peace of mind, and deception doubt.
- Muhammed Ali.


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